Kyle Long Is Challenging Our Friendship And That’s Okay

A lot of people are up in arms this morning because Kyle Long does not respect Italian beef. It’s been a robust Saturday morning filled with public outrage and I’m here to tell everyone to calm down. Just because his palette lacks the basic refinement to appreciate the rich bold flavors of a beef doesn’t mean you need to shit on the guy constantly. A little? Sure. But let him breathe for a second.

Another thing is you don’t need to punish him by talking shit on twitter. There’s already no punishment worse than being a guy who can’t appreciate a good beef. He has to go through life every day with that lemming mindset. It can’t get much worse than that so just leave him be.

But best of all is Kyle Long is the kind of buddy you can say Fuck You to and not hurt his feelings. Real Guys Guy kind of buddy, so fuck you Kyle. And the cheesesteak you rode in on. Nobody needs this controversy on Boxing Day. Let us peasants get some rest.