Happy Hanukkah To All Of The Hot Jewish Guys I Want To Date, Especially Lil Dicky

"Are you Jewish, Kelly?" No, I'm not. I went to Catholic school for my most important developmental years. It explains a lot about me. However, I feel qualified to speak on such matters, based on "having a half Jewish boyfriend" and "knowing how to make latkes."

First things first - Happy Hanukkah at sundown tonight. I'm not going to say Hanukkah is better than Christmas, but the ONLY reason I'm not, is because I like Christmas trees and lights. The food? Better. The games? Better. The drinking? Well…depends on your house, mine usually blacks out on Christmas, but I've also SWEPT the dreidel table and came out with a hangover so Hanukkah can still hang. I'm not religious in the slightest, but I get down with the pomp and circumstance of every holiday. In celebration of the first night, here's a reminder to lock down a Jewish guy, so you can plan to slide accordingly and get a boyfriend to light menorah candles with. 

On this day, I choose to honor Lil Dicky. 

Whoops! How'd that last one get in there! Aha, sorry guys, my bad.

And of course, a Hanukkah celebration wouldn't be complete without the classics: