John Middleton And The Philadelphia Phillies Are A Bunch Of Sad, Pathetic Broke Boys
Icon Sportswire. Getty Images.There's sticking your foot in your mouth, and then there's sneaking into Shaquille O'Neal's home in the middle of the night to get your mouth around those massive size 23 dogs. Johnny Midds is over there snacking on some Shaqs.
You see, it was only 2 years ago when John Middleton said the Phillies were going to get a little stupid with how much money they were prepared to spend in free agency.
They landed Bryce Harper. They landed JT Realmuto. They have continued to be a dog shit organization ever since.
But when you brag about spending a stupid amount of money, you can't end up being a broke bitch less than 1000 days later. But flash forward to current day and it would appear as if John Middleton did, in fact, get completely stupid.
Johnny Midds over here like
And on top of it all, this piece of shit weasel is out here telling the whole damn world that the organization lost $2B this year due to COVID.
It sounds like the real number the team lost was around $145 million, which is still a ton of money. But what a fucking preposterous move to go around saying you lost 10 times that much. Not only does that make you a weasel, but now you're going to get bent over by every other team in the league who is interested in Zack Wheeler. They're going sandpaper, no lube on your ass because clearly you're not in any position to negotiate here. Any leverage the Phillies would have had in a Zack Wheeler trade is currently at the bottom of the giant mountain of shit that John Middleton has turned the Phillies into.
I honestly don't get how this clown became a billionaire in the first place. It blows my mind how someone with a big ol' bowl of applesauce for brains could be that successful at some point in their life.
If he's such broke boy, the best thing to do at this point would be to sell the team. Do everybody a favor here, John.
Nothing but positive vibes here in Philly before the Eagles get their dicks kicked in by Aaron Rodgers and the Packers, right? God I hate it here sometimes.