Colin Cowherd's Thanksgiving NFL Analogies
Today and tomorrow are big days in the world of sports talk radio.
It's time for the annual Thanksgiving "hot takes" like is mac n cheese a Thanksgiving side dish or do you put whip cream on your pumpkin pie. But this is an especially special day for our buddy Colin Cowherd.
He's set up for at least a few prime analogy segments of "what thanksgiving food is your NFL team or quarterback".
Ben Roethlisberger Is The Turkey
"When I think of Big Ben on Thanksgiving, I think of turkey. It's the main course. It takes up a lot of the plate, it can make or break the meal, it's…big. Big Ben is the turkey for the Steelers. Take the turkey away and you're left with a lot of good things, green beans, mashed potatoes, stuffing, but without the turkey it feels…incomplete. The Steelers are full of a lot of pretty nice things. JuJu Smith-Schuster is a nice side dish. The defense is the mashed potatoes and green beans - very, very good on it's own, but without the turkey Big Ben, the meal is just not the same.
Baker Mayfield Is Jack & Coke
"Thanksgiving can be a hectic time, right? You're at the in-laws, there's kids running around, the crazy uncle who won't shut up is talking your ear off. You need something to take a little edge off, but if you have too much of it with your meal then YOU could become the problem. This is Baker Mayfield. He's the jack and coke you pour yourself before sitting down for the meal. It's nice to have, but it doesn't make the meal. You could take it or leave it. He adds a little bit of excitement but ohhh boy one or two too many and now you're poking the quirky cousin about politics, stirring the pot.
Baker Mayfield provides a little bit of that spark, you never know what you're going to get, but he by no means Joy makes the meal. Cleveland is stacked. They have the main course, the side dishes, hell even their rolls are good. Just like for the Browns, a little too much Baker Mayfield and you're left wondering why didn't I just get more stuffing (Nick Chubb).
Aaron Rodgers Is Steak
"Every now and then you have a Thanksgiving that serves steak. Whoa, the snobbiness of passing up turkey and serving steak. It's probably the year that the well-off cousins are hosting you know and instead of breaking the wish bone, you find yourself having a t-bone. All the while they tell you about the fine china you're eating it off. This is Aaron Rodgers. He's smug, a little arrogant, but overall phenomenally talented and usually very, very good.
Russell Wilson Is Mashed Potatoes
"There's always the dishes that really round out the Thanksgiving meal. That's mashed potatoes. It's a staple of Thanksgiving. Every one wants some. They aren't flashy, they just show up year in and year out and always improve whatever your plate is looking like. Turkey not good? Green bean casserole just ok? Here comes mashed potatoes to save the day. They're Russell Wilson. No matter what kind of crappy running game or O-line or defense Seattle rolls out there, they know they have a fat stack of mashed potatoes there to cover up the rest of the cruddy meal. You can never get enough mashed potatoes, just like you can never have enough Russell Wilson.
Lamar Jackson Is Deviled Eggs
"I gotta tell you I have this cousin who makes tremendous deviled eggs. They're look a little flashy. Any time someone has them on their plate it's "ooh look at those". They're incredibly tasty. But they aren't for everyone. People either love them or they hate them, but boy the people who love them will NOT shut up about them. They're unique. They're Lamar Jackson. He's an incredible talent just like deviled eggs can be unbelievably good, but have they proven they can be a staple on a Thanksgiving plate? Ehhhh ahhh we don't know. Just like the verdict is still somewhat out on Lamar Jackson working LONG TERRRRM in this league."
Philip Rivers Is Green Bean Casserole
"Yeah you know there's always that dish that seems to have just been around forever. You don't know if it's fresh or if it's leftovers from last Thanksgiving rolled out again. It's always there, but it doesn't do a whole lot. Usually it's the dish that gets the least amount of action in the food line. There's only a few takers, but those takers feel good about their decision. That's green bean casserole. That's Philip Rivers with the Colts this year. He doesn't bring a whole lot to the table, and there weren't a whole lot of other suitors for him last offseason before Chris Ballard swooped in for seconds and said "yeah I think I can make that work with something" just like you do with a little bit of green bean casserole surrounded by a lot of other good parts."
Patrick Mahomes Is Pumpkin Pie
"When talking Thanksgiving there's really only one true dish that brings everything together at the end of the meal and that's pumpkin pie. It's delicious, it's far and above better than everything else on the menu, and no matter how many bites you take after every one you say to yourself "damn that is so so good." Meanwhile the people who for whatever reason pass on pumpkin pie for another dessert are left thinking "why in the world didn't I get myself some pumpkin pie?" Simply put - it's a treat. That's Patrick Mahomes. My god it's just like every time I watch this kid all I can think to myself is how amazing he is. No matter what the situation or his surroundings he is alweys, alweys good. He and the Chiefs are sitting at the dinner table loading up on pumpkin pie while the Bears are asking themselves "why the hell did I get these undercooked chocolate chip cookies?"