The Rules For Saturday's Mike Tyson-Roy Jones Jr. Match Are A Bunch Of Malarkey That Make Knockouts Illegal, Ban Gambling, And Declares The Fight Over If Someone Gets Cut

What, and I cannot stress this next part of my statement enough, the FUCK is this? No offense to Iron Mike, but I'm not watching a Mike Tyson fight to see a 54-year-old teach a class on the sweet science. I am watching to hope we get a glimpse of this CTE producing machine unleash his fists of fury on another human (No offense Roy, I love you too). 

A boxing match that makes knockouts, gambling, and cuts illegal isn't a boxing match. It's a couple of guys punching each other while wearing gloves. Don't throw the E word at me either. Calling it an exhibition just feels like a way of marketing a fake ass boxing match to real idiots like me. Even noted boxing fan Dana White couldn't believe his ears when he heard these "rules".

The only thing I will get down for is no judges ringside since the sport boxing is so rigged, a judge can completely botch a decision even if they are watching on Neptune. To be clear, I will be watching too since I imagine there won't be much else on other than a few college football games in this coronaworld and there is always a chance Mike Tyson goes Bad Boy Mike Tyson and breaks the first rule on that list.

If we had a Rough N Rowdy card, this is where I would promote the everliving shit out of it. But since we don't, I'll just throw some RnR ring girl videos, which I imagine this Tyson-Jones "fight" won't have either.