BREAKING: The Actor Who Plays Vision Confirmed That Vision Not Only Has A Penis But That It's Purple And Can Change Density
The Direct- In a recent interview on Stir Crazy with Josh Horowitz, via the Comedy Central Youtube channel, Paul Bettany had the chance to answer some NSFW questions about the new Marvel Studios Disney+ series WandaVision. When asked if the new series would include any nudity, Bettany gave this somewhat expected answer, considering every single MCU movie to date, before the Disney+ era, has been rated PG-13:
No, there is no nudity, so to speak.
Bettany gave the next quote when discussing whether or not Vision has sex, considering his non-human nature:
Whether he does or doesn't, Vision can change his density, so there's that.
And finally, when asked directly what color Vision’s penis is, Bettany simply said “He’s purple.”
What, you thought an international playboy like Tony Stark WASN'T going to build his supercomputer with the most advanced genitalia technology capable of hitting any and all alleged G-Spots?
Vision didn't land someone as powerful, intellectual, beautiful, and any other great word that ends in L like Scarlet Witch simply because she suffered from a massive case of Helsinki Stockholm Syndrome following their time together in Civil War. In addition to being able to learn how to act like the perfect man by uploading every Rom Com in the IMDB database and emulating the lead male role, Vision was also able to sling as much ding-a-ling as his partner could handle instead of having a patch of plastic like a Ken doll. When Wanda said Thanos took everything from her, she meant it. Not only was Vision a walking, talking 99 Overall rating of a man, but he was the perfect sex toy equipped with a purple-headed pleasure slinger that was jussssst right as a lover regardless of who he was loving.
And that was today's episode of talking about a fictional character's fictional computer penis on a Wednesday morning for an hour! If you thought I was excited to talk Wandavision with Bob Fox in the basement next year, you have no clue the weird shit my brain will be pumping out after this news broke.
[computer man]