Soccer Goalie Fakes Injury And Immediately Gets Attacked By A Nest Of Ants, This Could Save Soccer

An unusual scene happened in the game between Ferroviário-CE x Jacuipense-BA this Saturday afternoon (14th) for the Brazilian Championship Series C. When the match was going to end, the goalkeeper of the Bahian team, Jordan, fell on the lawn. What he didn't count on was that there was an anthill in the lawn, and insects attacked the archer.

In order to get rid of the ants, Jordan relied on the help of his castmates and massage therapists from Jacuipense. The goalkeeper had to take off his shirt and take a bath. The service lasted about five minutes, until he can put his uniform back on and return to the game.

The Brazilian C Division by having to play in the worst conditions in the shittiest places might have just found the key to increasing soccer's appeal in America. 

Soccer has two major problems in the United States as far as I can tell. 

1) America, historically, has sucked at soccer. 

Well that problem has now been fixed

2) Everyone who plays soccer is a little bitch. They constantly fake injuries and slow the game down if they have their personal space invaded. It sucks. 

Well...maybe soccer needs more any nests on their fields. Maybe tarantulas and fire ants too. Make it known that if you roll around on the ground in fake agony there's going to be real consequences. And by consequences I don't mean the ref writing your name in his little notebook with a golf pencil or him holding up a yellow card. No. I want people who dive and flop and fake cry to buy time and make the game boring to potentially need to get rushed to the hospital because they got bit by a venomous insect. If someone comes out to spray your asshole down

It better be to fumigate. That's what we need. Keep your fucking feet, soccer or else an ant will be in your asshole. Just saved the entire sport.