Microsoft Released An Official Statement Declaring That You Should NOT Vape Into Your New Xbox Series X

And with one tweet consisting of 96 characters, Microsoft lost the Next-Gen Console Wars before Sony even officially launched the PS5. Obviously this statement is in response to the videos that were circulating around the internet yesterday.

While I get that blowing smoke or vape or whatever the fuck the kids call it these days into a video game system could have about the same impact as firing a proton torpedo into a space station's exhaust port, you can't tell people where to blow their fat clouds. Not in 2020. If you do, you are going to sound like some asshole dad telling their kids what to do. I'm not just making that statement as a blogger, I'm making it as an asshole dad who told his 2-year-old to stop putting waffles in his toy cars this morning so we don't find a bunch of moldy waffles around the house in a week. Microsoft already has enough of an uphill battle trying to shake the dad label considering this is the big swinging dick associated with them.

If someone wants to give their brand new $500 supercomputer the black lung in order to go viral and/or launch some 21st century fake news propaganda, then let them. People on Twitter are cursing Sony and every single online retailer for gently fucking them when Sold Out messages appeared in that breathless wait between clicking Checkout in their cart and filling out their billing/shipping information. But at least Sony isn't telling people to stay up past their bedtime to try to hit the video game lottery against all the other gamers as well as scumbag eBayers looking to gouge the fuck out of everyone by selling them at exorbitant rates during Christmas season.

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