Mariah Carey Replacing Kate Upton As The "Game Of War" Girl Is Complete Nonsense

(Source) — Mariah Carey — pop icon, imperfect angel, elusive chanteuse — is replacing model Kate Upton as the public face of Game of War: Fire Age, according to TMZ. Carey’s commitment includes a seven-figure pay check; a 30-second commercial filmed by Alan Taylor, the director of Thor: The Dark World and the upcoming Terminator Genisys; and the use of her music in future promotional material.

I’m not the biggest Kate Upton guy in the world but I’m also not an irrational Kate Upton hater. She’s fine. Not the hottest ever, not a gross fat chick. But she beats the SHIT out of Mariah Carey. Are you kidding me with this? Kate Upton, love her or hate her, crushes these Game of War commercials. Titties popping all over the joint. Swapping out a 23 year old, busty blonde for a 45 year old with two kids is exactly the opposite of how things are supposed to work. You know what Mariah Carey looks like in 2015? She looks like the mom who tried to stay hip and cool with her daughter. She’s a big, fat trashbag in ugly sunglasses and a too tight dress. There’s nothing at all appealing about her. She’s unattractive and, by all accounts, she’s also a bitch. That’s who you want to pitch me on buying an app? When I see Mariah Carey all I can think is that she’s about to yell at me. When I see Kate Upton all I think is “titties.” You tell me who you’d rather have as the face of your product.