Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 3 | Shocking Betrayal Rocks the TribesWATCH NOW

Mike Tyson Could Single-handedly Solve All The World's Problems One Person At A Time

There's an old adage about being worried about the calm guy. The calm guy has his wits about him. He doesn't need to yell and scream to get you to fear him. There's something far more unnerving about someone who is completely still, relaxed, not worried about a thing no matter what chaos is unfolding around him. That quote about a king who has to remind everyone he's a king isn't much of a king in the first place, so-on and so-forth. There's no one alive who doesn't know who Mike Tyson was, is, or will be. I don't care if he's 54, neither do you, he'd still mop up 99.9% of the world without breaking as much as a sweat. And this older, sage version of Iron Mike is what Kobe was talking about in that Nike commercial. This is a different animal, but the same beast. 

Boosie was shaking like an autumn leaf here. This is a man who has built a career off of being consistently brash and boisterous. To see him quiet and unable to make eye contact like a child who just disappointed a parent is unlike any other time he's appeared on camera. And that's because sitting across from Mike Tyson commands a different type of respect. It looks like he's talking to a sentient loaded gun. Tyson getting Boosie to admit he needs to shut the fuck up before drawing a hit from the blunt, ghosting it, taking a quick check on the ash, and calming asking, "Why don't you?" was intimidating to me thousands of miles away and days removed from this prerecorded conversation. Tyson comfortably dropping, "Yeah you have demons but those demons are 20 layers in hell above my demons," as if it's a statement of fact. That's probably because it is. 

Now you could make the case that Tyson's point to Boosie about constantly making fun of gay people because of being afraid of his own feelings is an argument, in itself, rooted in homophobia. While there's more than enough validity to that argument I think it misses the forest from the trees. Not everyone in the world is the wokest motherfucker alive. Communication, as a skill, requires an understanding of the audience you are addressing. It's a big reason why these egghead dweebs can't get people to listen to them. You start talking down to people they're going to tune you out. It doesn't matter how many fancy SAT words you know, if you can't get your message across clearly you might as well be speaking in tongues. This older, more humble Tyson isn't a tenured professor at an Ivy League institution, nor does he claim to be. He's Mike Tyson. A dude who has lived more lives in 54 years than most of us could be capable of in 500. He speaks from his own experiences, right or wrong, and has appeared to have learned that while he's not always right, that's OK.

He makes that point towards the end of this clip. "What I think don't mean a motherfucking thing." That's a point of view that can only come with age and experience. It's a perspective of someone who has been humbled. Few have ever been as famous as Mike Tyson in his prime. I mean true center of the world, top of the mountain type of fame. In today's age where everyone gets to have an instant, disposable opinion on any inane subject, it's a perspective more should consider. That perspective, if I haven't been clear, is shutting the fuck up. Minding your own business. Impossible to get caught up or "canceled" or dogwalked by the internet if you're keeping it to yourself. Which, admittedly, isn't easy. It's much easier to see a million people commenting on something and feeling the need to toss your two cents into the pot. Maybe if we all had Mike Tyson constantly lurking over our shoulder, cracking his knuckles, pacing back and forth like a lion on the prowl, we'd all reconsider. Or a lot more people would get punched in the face. Either way, feels like an improvement.