Is Your College Team Losing Today? Check Out This Guy With Over 560 'Body Modifications' Instead

If you're a Cornhusker, Jayhawk or Auburn fan I promise this will look less painful. 

From UPI: 

A German man set a Guinness World Record for most body modifications -- and he says he isn't finished altering his body.

Rolf Buchholz said his enthusiasm for body modification didn't awaken until he got his first tattoo at age 40, but he soon became addicted and now has 516 body modifications, including tattoos, piercings and subdermal implants.

Buchholz previously set the world record for most piercings when they were officially counted at 453 -- including 158 around his lips alone.

HUNDREDS of piercings... dang. Wouldn't wanna be stuck behind him at the airport metal detector, amiright folks? ha ha

Scrolling through his Instagram it looks like he's also into temporary body mods in terms of hooks on strings going through his skin AKA "suspension work".

IF YOU'RE HUNGOVER READING THIS MAYBE DON'T LOOK:

Ah. Righto. Sure thing. Whatever floats your boat. Very neat. Cool beans.

In comparison I guess my own body mods seem a little less extreme:

- 1 shamrock tramp stamp: "To honor my Irish heritage" after I turned 18. The stem goes right to my buttcrack. Am sure my ancestors were proud.

- 2 lip piercings: During a NOFX phase while DJing radio at college. Removed the first one back at home on Spring break when I thought my dad was going to make me sleep in the shed. Got it pierced again as soon as I got back to school. 

- 2 lower ear piercings (normal spots, still wear cheap H&M earrings that turn 'em green a lot)

- 3 upper ear piercings (two from a Jersey shore boardwalk stand (clean!), one I did myself with a sewing needle while blaring Bon Jovi when I was told I couldn't get another but it didn't work out and just hurt a lot)

- 1 belly button ring (they had to chop it off with pliers before I left for boot camp because I'd never changed it & they couldn't get it off)

- 1 torso bubble (fetus-related, currently still growing but already my biggest body mod yet)

My belly button, lower lip & upper ears are free & clear these days but alas, the tramp stamp remains. Thankfully I never have to look at it & am now in a committed relationship so I no longer need to worry about warning a fella in advance. ("Ok so real quick - You're about to realize you're with a gal who makes bad choices - you being one of them for sure - ha ha. Alright, let's do this thang.") So that's a relief. 

In the future I can't see myself getting any more tattoos (the first let me know I shouldn't be trusted with such things) & I'm definitely done with piercings because I lose earrings too much as it is. Plus, I've tricked a good man into liking me so I don't need to make any other guy think I'm quirky or unique via additional body flare.  

As for the record holder, it looks like he makes a fine living traveling the world to make appearances at tattoo conventions & modeling, and he's got plans to keep going:

Buchholz said he has added more body modifications since they were officially counted at 516, and he is still considering further modifications.

If you have a buddy whose team is suffering an embarrassing loss this afternoon be sure to send this their way! : - )