"And Nothing Will Ever Be As Cool As Crystal Meth" -Nebraska News Anchor, Also In Related News, Crystal Pepsi Is Back

You know when you get to Thursday and you’ve got your mind already on the weekend. All you can think about is sitting on your couch and drinking a thousand beers? Well that’s what happened here, yeah we’re talking about Crystal Pepsi but John Knicely has his mind elsewhere, with an old friend called Crystal Methamphetamine, the finest drug in the land.

Not to sound like a total moron but if we’re being honest with each other I still don’t understand Crystal Pepsi. Was hoping that it was my childhood ignorance and stupidity but nope. That shit still blows my mind. It looks like water and it tastes like pepsi. Absolutely incredible. How have we done this and not cured cancer? That’s a real question.