I Think I Found The Most Brutal Fantasy Football Loss Ever, Which Took Place After Kenyan Drake's 69-Yard Garbage Time Touchdown Last Night
I know nobody cares about other peoples fantasy teams and blah blah blahhhhhhhh despite there being a billion dollar industry around everyone caring about everything fantasy. But anybody who has a soul and any kind of feelings can appreciate how brutal of a beat that was. If Jason Stroud was able to sleep a wink last night, I'd be impressed.
There were PLENTY of people whose nights/weeks/months were ruined due to the last few garbage time touchdowns of that garbage game in that shiny garbage stadium. But to take an L where you wheeled out what is a pretty decent team against someone who had two starters that can't walk without crutches as well as a tight end who was watching the games on his couch like the rest of us this weekend is brutal. Especially because you know poor Jason was probably checking his opponent's lineup daily if not hourly to make sure he was walking into a free fantasy football victory in a game where every victory feels like heaven and keeping that beautiful if not idiotic dream of an undefeated season alive for yet another week.
Then the Pittsburgh Defense happened. Then Mike Gesicki happened (which included two white Dolphins tight ends somehow NOT named Mike Gesicki scoring touchdowns happened). Then Ezekiel Elliott turning into Pre-Coughlin Tiki Barber happened. And then finally after weeks of doing nothing but making Chase Edmonds the hottest name on the waiver wire, Kenyan Drake happened.
#Nice run, amirite fellas? [nudges you with elbow]. JK, everything about that run and the last few minutes of that game was a reminder yet again that fantasy football is the most evil thing that mankind has ever created. At least the most harmful of drugs have better highs that don't instantly become lows because of something a bunch of complete strangers due in a dozen or so games on any given Sunday. The amount of happiness and anger that Scott Hanson and Andrew Siciliano have brought into my life just by throwing their respective Red Zone channels to a touchdown scored by one of my players or my opponents players is honestly sickening to think about, and that's BEFORE we get into the joy/agony that comes when one of those touchdowns is called back by a penalty.
So thoughts and prayers to Jason Stroud for taking maybe the worst L I have ever seen in my life since not only was it a loss but a loss to a team with a bunch of voluntary zeroes, which means everyone in his league is going to be clowning him extra hard for this loss along with the dagger Kenyan Drake stuck into the dark place where his soul used to reside at the very last minute of the very last game of the weekend for the rest of his life.
If you have a bad fantasy football beat that has been close to this, send a picture of it to @UncleChaps on Twitter. He loves that stuff. Lord knows I got plenty of them last night (You can click on the replies if you want to see them because there were too many to go through).
h/t Kris