The Most Important Sabermetric Stat In NBA History: Does Lou Williams Play Better When He's Closer To Strip Clubs And Wing Restaurants?

Every once in a while the Internet is a perfect place. It tends to happen during an event like a fly on someone's head, a crazy game or asking what color a dress is. It also happens now thanks to Lou Williams and someone with way too much goddamn time on their hands. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled about bigmikenyy on Reddit for coming up with this, but the dude has too much time on his hands. 

He researched the last 3 years to find out whether or not Lou Williams plays better if he's closer to wing restaurants and strip clubs. This is of course due to Lou Williams getting in trouble for going to get wings from Magic City when he was in Atlanta for a funeral during the bubble. Here's how he did it:

To do this analysis, I looked at his away games over the last three seasons (excluding the bubble), and checked the correlation between the quality of the wing restaurants, strip clubs, and his box score to see if wings, or breasts, impact his performance more.

To create the wing and strip club indexes, I took the average rating of the top 10 wing restaurants and strip clubs in each city from Google Maps.

Okay, makes a ton of sense. The man loves wings, hence why there's Lemon Pepper Lou wings on the menu and why he trademarked Lemon Pepper Lou. 

And the results? 

Interestingly enough, Lou Williams performance does decline in cities with better wing restaurants and strip clubs although it looks like strip clubs have more of an impact. 

The man loves wings! Then again who doesn't? Wings are delicious, especially when you get multiple sauces. More importantly when you get 6 in a sauce and 6 in a dry rub. That's the key. You gotta throw in a good cajun dry rub for a mixer. You get a good dry rub wing and you're in for a day. 

But more importantly, these are the type of pardon the pun here nuggets we need as gamblers. If you think next year I'm not going to look at this when it comes to NBA games, you're out of your mind. Under his point total whenever he's playing near a good wing restaurant. Overs when he's playing like Utah. The perfect tool we needed. 

Seriously though, my guy, how high/bored are you?