Tiger's Back! Just Kidding, He Shot An 85 Today

85!  Eighty fucking five!  Not 75.  85.  Like 13 shots over par.  My brain can’t even process that.  That snowman on 18 is straight up, “Fuck this. I don’t even care anymore. Let’s see how aggressive the wheels can fall off.”  Did you ever think you’d be living in a world where Tiger Woods would shoot an 85?  I sure as hell didn’t. Unfathomable.  There was a point in time where you could’ve blindfolded Tiger and he would’ve shot under par.  85!  The worst round he’s ever posted in his entire career.  That happened in this universe.  The universe where Tiger Woods the golfer has 14 majors and had one of the most incredible stretches of dominance in sports history.  That Tiger Woods.  He shot an 85 today.  So, yeah.  I’m sure the press conference he does will be interesting.  His glutes were not activated today.

I hate myself that my first thought after seeing this tweet was, “You know what?  He’s right.  Only place to go is up for Tiger.”  That’s just the way it is.  I will believe Tiger still has a comeback in him until the day my heart explodes.  No apologies.  I took an oath.

PS- It should be noted that I would kill a man to shoot an 85.