Greg Norman's Wife Got Him A Statue Of Himself For His Birthday And I Can't Decide If That's A Good Present Or Not

Thanks I guess?  That’s a pretty fucking weird present, no?  Like I feel like you have to be an ego maniac to want a statue of yourself.  Or just a weirdo.  “Hey you know what I want for my birthday?  A bronze version of me that I can stare at and show people and maybe jerk off too.  I don’t know.  The possibilities are endless.”  I’m also not comfortable with the way Greg is hugging the statue of himself.  Almost like he’s been waiting his entire life to hug himself.  At any second he’s gonna reach down and play with his nipples.  Or maybe I’ve got this all wrong. Not just anybody can get a statue of themselves.  You gotta be somebody.  You don’t see any homeless guys with statues.  Having a statue of yourself says, “I’ve got a big swingin’ dick and I matter enough to be molded into a statue.  That’s who I am.”  And he is somebody!  He’s The Shark!  He’s a major championship winner!  He wears awesome hats!  He’s somebody.  Having a statue of yourself is the ultimate I Am Somebody move.  We should all reach for the stars and hope to have our own statue one day.

PS- Feel like there might be some “Who is Greg Norman?” questions on this one.  Use the Goggle machine.