Arsenal's Mascot, Gunnersaurus, Has Been Sacked After Being With The Club For 27 Years
(the sad mascot photo absolutely kills me)
Arsenal's cost-cutting measures have continued, with the man who plays the role of mascot Gunnersaurus on a part-time basis the latest staff member to be made redundant by the club.
According to The Athletic, Jerry Quy - who has assumed the role of Arsenal's dinosaur mascot since its creation in 1993 - has been informed that his services are no longer required by the club.
Stan Kroenke does it again! Fuck Gunnersaurus. That green son of a bitch can kick rocks for all I care.
"a man just lost his job, show a little goddamn empathy, Ethan"
Well when you assume the role of a mascot, you are the mascot. The man behind the mask doesn't exist. It's only Gunnersaurus. Therefore I have zero empathy for the dinosaur that cheers for the Gunners. He's just like the other twats who support Arsenal except he gets got paid to play dress up.
Yeah, I can be the bigger man and admit that having a dinosaur as a mascot is objectively cool. That being said dinosaurs have ZERO relevance to Arsenal football club other than the fact that Arse Wenger was one of the oldest looking humans of all time. A literal dinosaur.
Gooners were begging, pleading their club to extend Aubameyang to a huge contract but at what cost? The cost of their beloved Gunnersaurus? He was able to survive the meteor hitting earth but just couldn't survive Auba getting a new deal. Life is weird. This dino bastard got sacked meanwhile Mesut Ozil is still collecting £350k a WEEK.
The decision will likely anger supporters, especially given reports of Quy's dedication to the club, which included missing his own brother's wedding to attend a home match.
How do you explain that to your brother?
"yeah sorry bro, gotta dress up like a dino and go to the footy. We've got West Ham at home, can't miss it. Have a nice wedding."
He couldn't get a replacement for one game? It's not like anyone gives a fuck about who's underneath the costume. The people want Gunnersaurus, not Jerry Quy. One could argue that it shows his dedication to the club but any rational, freethinking adult realizes how preposterous that is. It makes me wonder if it was worth it. Like did Arsenal win that game handily or did they get thrashed at home? Does his brother hate him for it? So many questions, so little answers.
At the same time, there is a little part of me that does respect the dedication to the role. He simply couldn't miss a home game, so instead, he missed one of the biggest days in his family. Big up Gunnersaurus.
Despite today's decision, Arsenal have said that Gunnersaurus will return in future.
It's not a goodbye, it's a see you later. Once they get all these massive contracts off the books then they'll have more than enough room to bring this mascot back to a stadium full of empty people. But for now, he joins the likes of myself on the technically unemployed line. Doubt we see him do free work for 6+ months though.
Farewell, Gunnersaurus.