Chris Pratt Wrote a Great Pre-Apology For Anything He Might Potentially Say That Could Somehow Offend Anyone

A++++. Just pre-apologizing for anything he could say that could ever offend people, using every possible chliche, especially that people would without a doubt call it “JurassicGate”. It’s just so ridiculous that every single day there’s another thing someone is pressured into apologizing for and Chris Pratt doesn’t want to deal with that bullshit anymore. So he’s now taken care of every possible slip of the tongue, out of context joke, or overreaction possible all at once. Now he can go and talk on camera for 18 hours a day at all those press junkets he has to do without worrying if some random fat person or feminist or religious wacko is going to get mad about anything. Sorry, not allowed to anymore! I’d also like to jump on board and apologize for any potential blogs about celebrities that have cancer, “reblogs” where someone else got it up 3 minutes before me, or blogs that are so mailed in I should have to slap postage on them.