George R.R. Martin Was Denied A Request To Build A Motherfucking CASTLE On His Santa Fe Compound

Jeff Kravitz. Getty Images.

AP- Game of Thrones author George RR Martin won’t be able to build a seven-sided, castle-style library at his compound in Santa Fe that drew objections from neighbors. The city’s Historic Districts Review Board on Tuesday denied a request to allow Martin to exceed the building height limit in the historic district where he lives, the Santa Fe New Mexican reported. The project included a roof deck and an elevator tower. “It is a medieval castle, and I don’t understand how we could possibly approve it in this style,” board member Frank Katz said.

Mark Graham lives south of the property and said residents couldn’t “support having a castle in the neighborhood”. “With the notoriety of Mr Martin and Game of Thrones, we absolutely fear that our neighborhood will become the next treasure hunt, that his fans will be looking to find the castle that’s in the middle of Santa Fe,” Graham said.

Officials also denied a similar proposal early this year, saying the project didn’t meet height and style standards and didn’t fit in with the character of the historic district.

Look at size of the balls on George R.R. Martin! Hey George, do you realize where you currently stand in the public perception right now? Castles are for closers and you are the creator of the show responsible for the biggest blown save since Mo Rivera walked Kevin Millar, watched Dave Roberts steal 2nd as a pinch runner, then allowed Bill Mueller to knock Roberts home in Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS. 

[Brief pause for Yankees fans processing what probably felt like a Red Wedding-level sneak attack right there]

Now look, I know Benioff & Weis had taken the reins from Martin once the show passed the books he wrote and pretty much everything that was great on Thrones came directly from the pages of those books. But if you want to throw a CASTLE up in the middle of a residential neighborhood, you better make sure the guys in charge of the franchise that allowed you to afford that castle don't burn the franchise to ashes like Dany T. Everyday HOAs are dickhead hardos if you want to put a fence in your yard. How do you think a district review board, even in what I imagine is laid back Santa Fe, is going to react to a creepy looking old guy that already has weirdo fanboys roaming through the neighborhood building the motherfucking Red Keep in his backyard that could potentially allow him to look into other peoples' houses while he reads his books? About as good as Season 8 did on Rotten Tomatoes, which is to say poorly.

If you want public officials to rubber stamp those preposterous requests, you gotta have a higher approval rating or reside in a higher tax bracket.