David Spade Giving The Play-by-Play Of When His Assistant Tried To Murder Him In His Sleep Is Some Crazy Shit

I like to consider myself a connoisseur of all things pop culture, particularly anything to do with late night TV or Stern, but every once in while I come across a story that I've never heard of before...this is one of those stories. And yes, I'm aware it's old as hell but you're going to have to deal with it because this is the first I'm hearing of it...

For those of you who don't have time to watch I'll give you the play-by-play, although I really suggest you watch the video...

Here it is: 

- David Spade goes to bed

- David Spade wakes up to his 6'2" 350lb assistant, David 'Skippy Malloy', standing over him. I think you can tell which one he is...

Frederick M. Brown. Getty Images.

 - Skippy tases Spade and a struggle ensues

- The fight spills outside, Spade breaks free, and is able to retreat indoors where he retrieves a shotgun

- He then hides in the alleyway, gathers himself, and proceeds to HUNT his assistant until the police come

I promise you I am not making this up. It took place in November of 2001. Malloy was eventually caught (duh) and sentenced to 5 years probation and 480 hours of community service. Which seems like a pretty light punishment considering the crime, but what do I know? His lawyer also said he was in a 'cocaine induced psychosis' at the time of the attack for what it's worth. Spade originally told the story at length while Stern was broadcasting from the Playboy Mansion in 2001…

Then again last year on Anthony Jeselnik's show on Comedy Central, which is an easier listen…

Crazy stuff. Who knows what would've happened if Skippy had got to that shotgun. I guess the lesson in all this is don't get too famous otherwise you could be murdered by your assistant. Regardless, thank god Spade is okay otherwise we never would've seen Joe Dirt 2.