Julia Rose Wants El Pres To Take ONE BITE
I swear to god I searched up and down the site to see if this has been blogged yet, but I don't believe it has. If I'm incorrect, please accept my sincerest apologies. Don't take it out on me, just take it out on Nate or something.
I've been watching our Dear Leader, David Portnoy, do pizza reviews for at least of 4 years now. Not only that, but I've downloaded the One Bite app and use it religiously down in Providence and when I take the trip from Woonsocket down to New Haven CT (best pizza on earth no questions asked). If I know anything about Dave, it's that he would never, ever take more than one bite out of anything he's grading.
But now he has this voluptuous, perfect ass hand crafted by god himself being served to him on a paper plate with oil soaking through it. How can he possibly take one bite and one bite only out of this?!?! I mean if anyone can, Dave can, because he's got the mental fortitude of a Seal Team XI soldier and nothing gets in the way of his business or his bits. He's a bigger man than you and I.