Fernando Tatis Jr. Is A Goddamn Superstar (UPDATE: The Rangers Got Their Feelings Hurt Because They Stink At Baseball)

Line drive home run that got from the bat to over the wall in three seconds for his 10th dinger of the season. That alone nearly got me to the blogging factory because that's how impressive Fernando Tatis Jr. continues to be. But I figured it's just a home run. Surely he'll do something more electric in the coming days more worthy of a blog. Don't want to turn into the hype machine and start overpraising every single thing the man does. He doesn't deserve that. Little did I know it would only take a half an hour to get my ass on the keys and not give a shit about being hyperbolic.

GRAND SLAM. ELEVEN BOMBS. LEADING THE MAJORS AT 21-YEARS OLD. CHAIN AND HAIR SWINGING IN THE SAN DIEGO TWILIGHT BREEZE. THE FACE OF BASEBALL HAS A NEW NAME, AND THAT NAME IS FERNANDO TATIS JR. I DON'T CARE WHAT COAST HE PLAYS ON, THIS IS THE GUY AND I'LL ACCEPT NO ARGUMENTS TO THE CONTRARY. 

UPDATE - Baseball LOVES making baseball terrible. 

You've got the manager of the Padres and Eric Hosmer teaching the "unwritten rules" to Tatis. This is embarrassing for the entire sport. Far more embarrassing than giving up a grand slam when you're already getting demolished. "Please tell the mean baseball man on your team to stop slugging home runs every time he steps in the box, it hurts our feelings!" Grow up. If you don't want someone to hit a grand slam when you're already down a million runs, maybe don't load the bases and then groove a fastball to the hottest hitter alive in an 3-0 count. This kid is one of the best things the sport has going. Let him shine and shut the fuck up.

PS - This is the guy they want to have less fun. The guy who plays The Show as himself and pimps his virtual home runs. That's whose personality they're trying to strip and turn into another unmarketable robot. Good job, good effort all around on this one.