10 Days of Interning at the Ellen Show

Last summer I got the privilege of Interning on the Ellen DeGeneres talk show. I got the job through a friend from school, his father knew a guy who knew a guy who knew the producer of the Show. During my time working on the show I took some notes. Here they are.

Day 1:

First day on the show. Super excited. I've been shadowing some of the other employees for the most part. They had me go out and get coffee for them. I messed up one of the orders which sucked. I haven't talked to Ellen yet. Feeling a little underwhelmed but still excited for what lies ahead. 

Day 2:

Apparently Ellens friend committed suicide last night so things were pretty weird in the office today. Ellen didn't come in. Feeling a little shaken up. Trying to stay positive.

Day 3: 

When I pulled into the office today I saw Ellen making out with a man in the parking lot. This was my first time meeting her. I told her I wouldn't tell anyone what I saw and she told me I could take the day off.

Day 4:

Tough start to the day this morning. My cars brakes gave out while pulling out of my driveway and I slammed into my neighbors mailbox. Weird because it's a brand new car. Just glad nobody got hurt. Couldn't go into the office today because I had to get my car fixed. 

Day 5: 

Ellen seemed very surprised to see me today. 

Day 6:

I talked to Ellen today for the second time. She brought me a coffee. That's all for today.

Day 6 post work update:

Violently sick. It's coming out of all ends.

Day 7:

Had to go to the hospital last night. My girlfriend found me on the bathroom floor passed out in a pool of vomit and shit. The doctor said I had enough botulinum toxin (poison) in my system to kill a large horse. It was a miracle I survived. I have no idea how it got into my system. I wanted to go into work later that day but the doctor insisted I take the day off.

Day 8:

Ellen seemed extremely surprised to see me today. I think she's really starting to like me.

Day 9:

Today I got my car fixed and I decided to drive into work. When I was pulling into the parking lot Ellen was backing out and t-boned me. Just a brutal crash. I had to go to the hopsital but luckily Ellen was okay. That's all that matters to me. 

Day 9 update:

Ellen came to visit me at the hospital today after the accident. She apologized and I told her it was okay and that mistakes happen. Suddenly she grabbed my neck and squeezed tight until I passed out. The last thing I remember was a whisper into my ear saying "A storm of pain awaits! You will suffer!"

Day 10:

I have decided to step down from my position as an intern on the Ellen Degeneres show. I will not be commenting on this any further.