How Do You Pick Between Green Salsa And Red Salsa When They're Both So Delicious?
A lot of people have been asking me to settle this argument for a long time but I've always been reluctant. I'm not a salsa expert but I absolutely love it. Mild, Medium, Gotta Have It. There is no landing zone on the salsa spectrum that I won't fuck with.
Naturally, there's some obvious crossover here with my position on Guacamole as a severely overrated food. I've been fighting that battle going on two weeks now and I don't see it slowing down. But inherent in that argument are two general principles worth repeating: price is important, and you can't expect a tortilla chip to do the heavy lifting. If you're charging $14 a side then I need more than a wholesale chip. These are facts, and exactly where salsa comes in.
Free or not. $5 or less. Included with meal. Doesn't really matter how the chips end up on the table. Simple fact remains they aren't getting off that table alive. Pound for pound there may be no better restaurant experience in the world than pounding house salsa at an authentic Mexican restaurant and chasing the spice with ice cold tap water that overflows from this chalice:
Gassing waters. Gassing chips & salsa. Maybe even dabbling in the margarita menu if your old lady allows it after the big weekend you just posted with the boys. This is the good life.
I hope everyone can relate to this situation because we're about to take a turn to flavortown. And some fo you may not agree with the directions.
You see the problem I often find myself in is when they give you the two different salsas. Red & Green. They don't tell you which is spicier or better. No explanation about what's appropriate where. Just two different black bowls. One with green. One with red. Both equally delicious in my book.
I've struggled with this proposition for years and I still down have a power-sweep in my playbook. I still show up on 1st down without a gameplan, hoping one salsa emerges victorious over the other. But generally it just doesn't happen for me. I go two red. two green. One red. Two green. Two red. One green. Just can't get into a chips and salsa rhythm when I have to make a choice. There's no flow. No balance.
Again this doesn't happen all the time. Usually you just get one average salsa and maybe a pico if you're lucky. But there are times you have to pick behind door #1 or door #2 and I'm honestly NEVER happy with myself after. Call me a sucker for being noncommittal but don't accuse me of being immune to the mental anguish wrought by such flaccid thoughts. This isn't easy.
Other big factors is that good green salsa just doesn't come around anymore like it used to while the Red crowd has gotten actually pretty lazy in response. Think Lakers-Celtics late 80's into late 90's. You just couldn't sustain the matchup when green salsa (Celtics) requires so much technical proficiency. Larry Bird knows what I'm talking about.
Anyways question back to you guys is how do you navigate green and red salsa. I heard someone say red for chips, green for burritos but that actually doesn't feel that natural to me. Now I'm lost which is actually where I'm most comfortable in the conversation, rotating salsas like an indecisive little bitch. I hate it when that happens.