Stephen Hawking Weighs In On Zayn Leaving One Direction And It Is Fantastic News For Me

(TIME) – To the relief of millions of teenage girls, Stephen Hawking has weighed in on Zayn Malik leaving One Direction. After the lecture, one audience member asked, “What do you think is the cosmological effect of Zayn leaving One Direction and consequently breaking the hearts of millions of teenage girls across the world?” And Hawking’s response was genius. “Finally, a question about something important,” he said. “My advice to any heartbroken young girl is to pay close attention to the study of theoretical physics. Because one day there may well be proof of multiple universes.” “It would not be beyond the realms of possibility that somewhere outside of our own universe lies another different universe — and in that universe, Zayn is still in One Direction.” Hawking went on to say that, “this girl may like to know that in another possible universe, she and Zayn are happily married.” Stephen Hawking just became the most unlikely mender of broken hearts.

Believe it or not, I don’t keep up much with the world of theoretical physics, so I had no idea that alternate universes were a real thing. Had no clue that actual smart people believed in them. I thought they just something you yelled on the recess playground, “Yeah your team won… in an alternate universe!!!” But this knowledge is kind of sweet, right? I was only putting in about 3% effort in this universe but I’m just gonna give that up too because there’s some different world where I’m crushing it, and that’s enough for me. There’s a different world where instead of being a fat blogger I actually made something of myself. I’m front row at a One Direction concert, showing everyone my six pack as I dance to “What Makes You Beautiful,” and Zayn gave me a thumbs up. God what a world that is.