Live EventOhio State Is Dead + Full Championship Weekend Preview | Barstool College Football Show Week 15Watch Now
Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 3 | Shocking Betrayal Rocks the TribesWATCH NOW

If You're Wondering Why It's So Goddamn Hot, Some Witches Put A Hex On The Moon And The Sun Is Out For Blood

Before we really get started I want to make it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that I am pro-witch. If you're not pro-witch you can get the heck outta here with your garbage non-believing ass. Witches, far as I'm concerned, are our first line of defense against and with the cosmos. The fact that they've been disrespected for as long as they have by society is insane to me, but maybe this will open people's eyes and they can see what kind of power we're dealing with here. With all that being said, a brief thread on what these new, rookie witches have been up to the past few days.

Genuinely, genuinely: what the fuck. Who puts a hex on the Moon knowing what kind of company she keeps??? And now you're planning on hexing the Sun next? The fucking Sun?? You think you can hex the fucking SUN??? It's dangerous, it's careless, it's a gross misunderstanding of the powers that be. I'm going to find the nearest Yankee Candle and light every single jar on fire to pay homage to the Moon and try to right this ship. It appears to be the very least I can do during these uncertain times. The times were already uncertain and a group of showboats decided to add another boss level to 2020. I don't know much but I know for certain you can't start shooting daggers at the twin sister of the God of health during the midst of a pandemic and think you're gonna win that one. Hopefully the rest of the witch community, of whom I trust with every ounce of my being, are working double time to appease these Gods and apologize to the Moon. The Gods, as ruthless as they can appear, are also understanding and merciful. So hopefully it's not too late. Light your candles for the Moon, folks. It may be our last hope.