This Twitter Thread Of NFL Coaches Manipulating Gameplay Rules To Their Advantage Is Grade A Football Porn

I'll never understand the rules of football in their entirety and that's a-okay. Go back and listen to the Vrabel game and they're talking about implications of it being under 5 minutes of the 4th quarter. Makes zero sense to me when they run the clock and wind the clock and stop it and all that shit. Probably because my fundamental understanding of all things NFL is deeply rooted in countless adolescent summers in an air conditioned basement playing Madden. In those rules you can always stop the clock when you go out of bounds. You can sprint your team to the line of scrimmage down the field. You can have scoring drives routinely under 1 minute and it's impossible to guard a RB coming out of the backfield if his speed is higher than 95 (shoutout Michael Bennett circa 2004 Vikings). 

Now as a much older man, I firmly realize I'll never truly understand what the fuck is going on with the NFL. The reason Gene Steratore will always have a job is because of meatballs like me and that's just fine. I happen to like Gene Steratore quite a bit and don't mind him sliding in to tell me why you can't substitute skill players with less than 11 minutes left in the 1st quarter with 10 seconds left on a play clock on 2nd down or less in a tie game. Or something like that. Honestly after going through Warren Sharp's thread I have no fucking clue. Good thing I'm not the one calling plays. 

Speaking of calling plays, how about Matt Nagy making it on the list. I bet you assholes didn't see that one coming with all the shit you like to talk about the Bears. Well turns out you're wrong and Nagy really is a Chief Strategist in the league and you'll be damned if I don't go a blog about NFL head coaches without showing that respect. 

PS - Are you in or out on Mitch?