The Islanders Replace The Stolen Seats From The Coliseum With Folding Chairs

This is low key the most Islanders moment ever. The perfect representation of the Coliseum. That picture with the folding chair poking up is so fucking perfect. Just like “one of these things is not like the other!” Ultimate MailTime from the people at the Coliseum. “These seats and this place are a piece of shit anyway…just give them this folding chair.” Probably stole that from the auditorium at Hempstead High School too. Surprised they didn’t just borrow a barstool from Mulcahy’s and stick it in the aisle.

The Islanders might as well have replaced that stolen seat with a box of weapons. Lead pipes and knives and wrenches. Basically all the weapons from Clue. Maybe some swords and battle axes. Because make no mistake about it, there will be a Barbarian fan tonight who uses this as a weapon. Godspeed to any Caps fan who dare shows their face in the Coliseum tonight. You will take a chair to the head. It will be like The Rock and Mankind in their I Quit match where Rocky hit him 14 times with a steel chair. You’ll be wearing red and playing with your Unleash The Fury rally towel and when you get up to go get on a 2 hour line for the bathroom, this will happen to you:

Just say it now, Capitals fans. Say I Quit. Dont do this to yourselves again. There’s only so much one fan base can take. Viking Life + Steel Chair spells doom. Hopefully someone sets up a Spanish Announcers Table in the parking lot for the post game riots.