4th Of July Weekend Wake Up: Joe Dirt And His Fireworks

"Man, firecrackers! You stick em in mailboxes, drop em in toilets, shove em up bullfrog's ass!" What an unbelievable scene from one of the greatest motion picture's from the early 2000's. Joe Dirt meeting up with Kickin Wing, a soon to be vet who's selling some firecrackers. Only problem is, he doesn't have anything good. I mean it's outrageous that Kicking Wing doesn't have any whistlin' bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin' kitty chaser? Only snakes and sparklers available. Unreal bad selection by Mr. Wing. I don't think anything Joe said was out of the question, he just wanted to be able to put on a good show. 

Enjoy your 4th and please come back on Monday with all your fingers.

PS. I had my first kiss in the movie theater after seeing Joe Dirt, not a big deal. Maybe the weirdest movie to ever have your first kiss at.