BREAKING: The Guinness Book Of World Records Has Reinstated Billy Mitchell's Donkey Kong And Pac-Man Records

A quick reminder of the two rules of life for all of Billy Mitchell's many haters:

1. Billy Mitchell always has a plan

2. Billy Mitchell always wins

If you disagree with either of those rules, reread the other one and everything will fall into place.

Long story short, Guinness stripped Billy of his records due to reports of some funny business in the hardware of the games he broke the records on. Turns out, everything is fine based on this bloke Glenn from Guinness:

If Guinness says it's legit then Guinness says it's legit. It's not like we are dealing with those weirdo knockoffs at Ripley's Believe It Or Not. I also appreciated that Billy took that 90 second Guinness statement and tacked on a 5 minute Billy Mitchell history lesson/hype video at the end. That lil ol' esports industry may have a chance now that Messiah Mitchell has been absolved of all sins.

Time for another parade!!!

If you somehow haven't watched King Of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters yet after it being out for more than a decade, countless recommendations from Pres, Big Cat, myself, and countless other idiots here at Barstool, set aside 80 minutes of this endless quarantine and bang it out now. Satisfaction guaranteed. 

P.S. Ending your statement with Never Surrender is the most Alpha thing I have ever seen. Don't hurt'em Billy!

Never Surrender,

Clem