Master Splinter Found In New York City

Sometimes I wonder just how far fetched it is that toxic ooze in the sewers of New York City could transform creatures into dangerous freaks of nature. I mean I dont know about turtles but you ever see some of the NYC rats? Things are the size of small mountain lions. Youre telling me those things havent been warped by the underground grime of this godforsaken city? This little fucker clearly has. Scaling two fucking garbage cans like he’s a samurai. These fucking things have most certainly at the very least adapted. I’m just waiting for the pigeons to learn how to speak to go along with these ninja rats and then this whole city is fucked.

I’ll be perfectly honest I’m in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle frame of mind after the Britney Spears/Krang reference and its Friday afternoon and this was going viral on Reddit so this is just a garbage blog to get me to the weekend.