Sexually Frustrated Virginia Man Blows Hand Off Trying To Get Back at 'Hot Cheerleaders'
It's WTF Wednesday on Hard Factor News and no... that's not shit on this dickhead's face, that's his own blood. Cole Carini, a self-proclaimed Incel and follower of Elliot Rodger, another dickhead who unfortunately took the life of 6 people and then his own back in 2014. Incel is short for Involuntarily Celibate, AKA guys that can't get laid so they fuck their hand until they can't anymore and revert to making bombs. The built of sexual frustration of Incels usually results in attacks on the ones who reject them, but mostly, and thankfully, like in Carini's case, they're too stupid to carry it out.
Carini was arrested Thursday after he showed up to an emergency room in Richlands, VA, with a blown off hand and some missing fingers claiming he lost them in a lawnmower accident. The hospital staff was skeptical and rightfully so, as Carini had previously been arrested for explosive related charges and police used that along with his inconsistent story to obtain a search warrant for his home.
Investigators arrived at Carini's house and were greeted by an unkempt lawn, immediately disproving his story. Once inside, a quick search of his room revealed pieces of shrapnel and flesh scattered everywhere consistent with an explosion. A trail of blood through the house led officers on the easiest investigation of their lives, finding a bottle of explosives and a box of rusty nails in Carini's closet. Investigators also discovered other explosive materials in Carini's grandmother's shed and a note resembling a suicide bombers diary entry.
“He casually walked through the shopping mall. His jacket concealed deadly objects.”
“He had … of tension that would come and go as he now approached the stage of hot cheerleaders.”
“He decided, ‘I will not back down. I will not be afraid of the consequences, no matter what. I will be heroic. I will make a statement like Elliot Rodgers did,’ he thought to himself.”
Clearly a fucking psychopath and a threat to everyone in the world, police arrested Carini on charges of lying to federal law enforcement officers and he could also face domestic terrorism charges. It's not clear when and where he was planning on using the device, but it's safe to say he won't be trying this again any time soon.
The biggest loss for Carini however, is not his freedom or fingers, but rather the ability to crank one out to the thought of the "Hot Cheerleaders" while he spends the next few years in prison.
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