Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 3 | Shocking Betrayal Rocks the TribesWATCH NOW

Guess That State: Jet Ski Graduation

I suppose necessity truly is the mother of invention. This is the best graduation ceremony one could possibly have.

I wrote yesterday about jet skis and their universal coolness factor.

I generally hate all things having to do with water that is not in a pool, but damn it, this makes me really want to hop on a jet ski right now. It is impossible to not look cool as shit and have a fantastic time on a jet ski. In the words of Daniel Tosh, "'Money doesn’t buy happiness.' Do you live in America? Because it buys a WaveRunner. Have you ever seen a sad person on a WaveRunner?"

Nobody likes graduations, whether they be their own or someone else's. Parents pretend to be excited to go to them, but literally nobody enjoys sitting in a packed arena in the summer listening to names being read off a list just so you can hear one of someone you know. I went back and forth as to whether I was even going to go to my own college graduation.

But riding up on a jet ski in your cap and gown to get your diploma? Maybe the 'rona did give us one or two good ideas. Why do we have to keep doing things the way they've been done? What ever happened to American innovation?

This is the most Florida thing ever, but it plays. Congrats to those kids on graduating and also having the first ever graduation ceremony that anybody actually wanted to attend.