Martha Stewart, Pete Davidson, and Jeff Ross Killed It Last Night At The Bieber Roast

I hope nobody missed the Bieber roast last night, because it was great, as the Comedy Central roasts always are. A+ shit from Martha. Telling Luda to pull out, talking about “African American rich”, calling Hannibal a gingerbread man that was left in the oven too long, and all of her jail tips for Justin, including what she did with Shaq’s mom.

Pete Davidson was hilarious, kicking off the show with a good ol’ fashioned “I’m glad my dad died on 9/11 after meeting your dad” joke:

Hannibal Buress also crushed, but in a different way. He was just brutally honest. That was what he did. Just told Justin he hated him and that he hated Pete Davidson’s face.

Jeff Ross killed it as usual, and went hard after Selena and Bieber more than anyone else. I wish his full set was online in a video that didn’t resemble scrambled porn, because he was awesome.

Shaq straight up told Chris Paul that the Clippers suck.

And Ludacris straight up didn’t smile or laugh the entire night. Probably because Pete Davidson kicked off the night with a Paul Walker joke that they ended up editing out, as did Jeff Ross. You can read those jokes here. Lots of people were tweeting “why are 9/11 jokes ok but Paul Walker jokes not?” Well it’s because Pete Davidson is a comedian and he understand what the roast is all about, Ludacris is sensitive and demanded Paul Walker jokes get pulled. Not sure why Comedy Central listened, I suppose they thought it’d be best for business, but it still is lame as fuck.

All in all, a good 2 hours. Beebs finished off the night with some funny jokes of his own, only to end the night thanking god and doing this bullshit PR apology. Yea, I’m sure he’s going to stop egging houses/drag racing/fucking prostitutes in Mexico/fucking with Selena/buying pet monkeys/doing drugs/wearing stupid clothes. I’m so sure.