Breaking News: Zayn Malik Just Left One Direction!?

What in the fuck!   You don’t leave One Direction till Harry Styles leaves.  That’s like rule #1 of being in One Direction.  He’s the big swinging dick.  It would have been like Lance leaving NSync before Timberlake left or  Kelly Rowland leaving Destiny’s Child before Beyonce.  You just sit and hope the day never comes when the cash cow leaves and keep smiling and cashing checks.  Honestly I couldn’t even name one other guy’s name in OneD besides Harry.  Sure I knew what they all looked like but only chicks know all their names.  All I know is Harry Styles put the asses in the seats.   Without him there is no One Direction.  Hey Zayn try to have a solo career.  Do it Zayn.  Do it. You won’t.

PS – Top 4 One D songs in order.  Oh and if you don’t like One Direction you’re trying so hard to be a tough guy that you clearly are gay or at the very least have had 2 dreams about a threesome with Harry.  Facts only.

1. Story of My life

2. What Makes You Beautiful

3. Night Changes

4. Steal My Girl