Guy Fired From Macy's After Taking A Selfie With Aubrey Plaza's Underwear
This guy is such an idiot. Listen, you don’t eat meat that hasn’t been cooked. You don’t hang up canvases that haven’t been painted. And you certainly don’t get excited about panties that haven’t been worn. That’s just weird. I mean if this was a return order and April wrote back that the underwear just didn’t fit right then you won the lottery and you can celebrate accordingly. That’s easily worth getting fired over. Especially for Aubrey Plaza, she’s a certified smoke. No question she’s the second hottest bitchface in the game today. Plus I’d put it at about an 80% chance that she’s into butt play, would say 100% but I’m not trying to get sued for slander over here. So if you get your hands on a pair of her game worn undies you risk life and limb to get them home safely. But these bad boys hadn’t even left the warehouse yet. Just the epitome of a rookie move. This 13 year old I used to see on the CTA has got to be rolling over in social studies class right now.
P.S. I have no idea why there’s something so primal and empowering about having a girls underwear but there is and I’d be lying if I said otherwise. And I’d rather be a pervert than a liar any day.