JetBlue Is Now Delivering Shitty Airline Food to Your Door, But All We Want Is Delta Cookies

New York Post — Prepare for a turbulent dinner.

Frequent flyers missing out on prepackaged meals served on flights can now have the food delivered straight to their doors.

JetBlue Airways snack packs are available to Imperfect Foods customers, the grocery delivery service that sells ugly produce for cheaper than store prices.

Subscribers longing for the times when they could jet off without the fear of contracting COVID-19 can opt now for the inflight experience: mixed cheeses, crackers and dried cherries from the Long Island-headquartered airline that has seen a steep decline in travelers due to the coronavirus pandemic.

I don't know if JetBlue is familiar with the fact that people do have grocery stores available to them when they aren't on an airplane, but I will do my best to refrain from too much JetBlue slander, because it's one of the few airlines which is considerate of those of us taller than 5'9.

Without being hyperbolic, I'd say the people clamoring for a box of cheese and nuts that would normally cost $9 on a flight from JFK to Ft. Lauderdale is at or approaching zero. There is only one airline food which anyone wants now, or ever, for that matter: Delta cookies.

For whatever faults Delta Airlines may have, they serve one of the best snacks in this country, whether on land or in the sky. Every time I'm crammed onto a tiny Delta Connection plane — because apparently nobody needs to go from New York to Nashville — I just wait for the moment that cart comes rolling down the aisle and start contemplating how many extra packages of cookies it's acceptable to ask the flight attendant for. I usually settle on two, but I have gotten crazy and shot for a third pack.

These need to be sold in stores starting now and ending never. We don't want JetBlue knockoff Lunchables. We want Delta biscoff cookies.