The Best Parents On The Planet Spent Quarantine Teaching Their Kid The Basics Of Bartending

Now THAT is how you take the lemons of being qurantined with kids and turn them into vodka lemonades. What do you think is going to help this kid in the long run more: Doing some math work and talking over 20 other kids in a Zoom call or starting his journey of how to tend bar by passing Bartending 101? If you didn't fill in B on your internet scantron, you are an idiot. A fucking idiot. 

Not only will that kid prevent his parents from jumping out of a window like we all may end up doing the longer this shit drags on much longer but it ensures he will be the kid that knows how to make a good cocktail when him and his buddies are inevitably trying booze for the first time as sketchy teenagers. The poison I picked as a kid was screwdrivers because it was easy and my parents always had OJ in the house. But this baby bartender will be able to whip up every drink in the Barstool Book of Drinks before he is out of training wheels or at least be able to know the difference between the hard stuff and the light stuff depending on just how shitty that day was for everyone in the family. All these parents need to do is teach the family pooch how to roll a joint and these months in quarantine will be more fun and productive than the first 3 years of this kid's life combined.

While I'm here, I gotta shout out the Podfathers Instagram handle and our social guy Joey Langone for crushing it and pumping out a ton of hilarious videos during this coronavirus nonsense. Who woulda thunk idiot kids would be the content goldmines keeping America laughing during all this depressing shit? We just passed 200k followers today and with no end for this virus in sight that means there is no end for kids doing awesome/stupid shit in sight either. So give the IG and Twitter a follow. If you don't like it, Large will buy you a drink, this kid will make you a drink, or Large's dad will beat up someone of your choosing.