Your Yearly Reminder That Darren Rovell Is A Communist Who Doesn't Fill Out A Bracket

Rationale from last year

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I feel like the Gay Puerto Ricans in Seinfeld. “WHO, WHO DOESNT FILL OUT A BRACKET?!?!”

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Every single year. Every single year Rovell has to let the world know he is not filling out a bracket and every single year it pisses me off to no end. It’s stupid, it shouldn’t make me mad, but it does, because filling out a bracket is as American as Apple Pie. And I understand what he’s trying to say. Your bracket always blows up on the first day and you should just be rooting for great games but I still don’t get it. I fill out my bracket every single year and basically throw it directly in the trash. I know I’m not going to win, I know I’ll end up rooting for upsets and buzzer beaters, but I still have a bracket. Why? Because you can’t just not have a Final Four, that’s a cowards way out. Everyone needs one. Everyone you see for the next week should immediately be able to answer “Who’s in your Final Four?”. Men, women, children, dogs, cats, I don’t care, everyone should have a Final Four and Darren Rovell refusing to do so makes me so fucking annoyed. Just so proud of himself to not wear the ribbon. I need to go for a walk, fuck.

PS

The real point of it is that Darren Rovell doesn’t fill out a bracket because Darren Rovell can’t just be a normal human being. He knows he’s the “bracket guy”. The guy who shows up to the bar with a highlighter and checks off games as they go along. The guy who tells EVERYONE which upset they had on Day 1. So I guess in a weird universe I get it. Darren Rovell is saving himself from Darren Rovell. Even he finds himself annoying.