Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

The World Is Calling On Us To Eat Double The Amount Of French Fries Until The Pandemic Ends

In one of the easiest coronavirus-era requests to date, Belgians are being asked to double their fry intake.

More than 750,000 tons of potatoes risk being wasted as restaurants, festivals and other major buyers have stopped stocking up during the global pandemic, according to Belgium’s Department of Agriculture.

So officials have come up with a solution: eat more fries.

My good friends and readers of this blog, I challenge you all: Ask not what the world can do for you, ask what YOU can do for the world. And in this time of desperation and global chaos, our friends in Belgium need us to eat more french fries. So folks, let's indulge.

I'll be honest, I've never ran a foreign government nor have I worked in the Department of Agriculture, but I'm not sure "eat more fries" is the best possible solution they could've came up with here. If I'm understanding it correctly, there's a huge surplus of potatoes, and the government doesn't want them to go to waste. So that's what we're up against......wasting potatoes. The worst thing that can happen is a waste of potatoes. And yes, I'm sure there's some economical factors involved, such as the demand going down so they don't need to employ people right now, but every industry in the world is having those issues right now. It's not like barbershops are telling people to cut their hair twice a week. It's not like tanning salons are telling people to come in twice a week. This isn't about the businesses it seems; it seems it's about the potatoes perhaps going to waste. This article was writen saying if people don't start eating double the amount of fries they usually do, potatoes might be wasted. Okay? That's not the end of the world. 

........but I tell you what might be the end of the world for some........

Eating double the amount of french fries. I love fries as much as the next guy, but who isn't already eating absolutely terribly during this quarantine? No joke, I've gained 15 pounds in the last 6 weeks. I think I've gone into the major risk category for a heart attack based on the fact that I've had Wendys or BW3s six out of the last seven days. And now you want me to double that???

Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. The world needs me to eat more fries, but my body needs me to mix in a fruit or a vegetable sometime this year. Oh shoot, a potato is a vegetable. And the world needs me! I'd rather save 7 billion people than save myself. Easy decision: I'll start eating double the amount of fries.