95-Year-Old Man SMASHES The 200 Meter Record in His Age Group By 2.4 Seconds

Like lightning!  I could barely see the old guy he was moving so fast.  KFC wishes he was that fast.  I’m just impressed. Honestly.  I’m just impressed to see a 95 year old dude sprint 200m in any amount of time.  He could’ve taken 3 hours and my jaw still would’ve gone crashing through the floor.  I’ll be lucky to make it to 35 and this guy is out there breaking 200m records at 95 like it’s nothing. He even smashed the world record by a full2.4 seconds.  Incredible.  It’s time to celebrate. Get the Viagra ready and ship over some broads from the nursing home.  A heroic accomplishment like that deserves a hero’s celebration.

PS-  His last 100m or so felt like a sports movie.  You could feel the crowd start getting into when they finally realized, “Holy shit, that’s a 95 year old man flying around the track.”  It was his finest hour and the crowd responded in kind.  CHARLIE!  CHARLIE!  CHARLIE!

This is exactly how I feel every time I see an old person out and about still doing things.