The NFL Draft Is Going to Be a Shitshow Because Coaches' Kids Are Using Up All the WiFi On Their iPads

Oh boy, this NFL Draft is going to be incredible. It hasn't even happened yet and I already want to go to this setup full-time going forward. I've seen enough players give bro hugs to Goodell and hold up a jersey to last a lifetime; I want intrigue. Give me all the technical difficulties we can muster.

I can just imagine whatever NFL head coach this was — Kyle Shanahan, based on age and track record of running thing efficiently, if I had to guess — trying to conduct a serious run-through of what the 2020 NFL Draft is going to look like and having to mute his mic to scream at his kids to quit playing Candy Crush or whatever game the kids are playing these days so he can try to make a first round pick.

This is going to be fantastic. There's something inside all of us that longs for a little bit of chaos and now that's all the world is so let's just throw the Draft right on in there with it and have some fun. If we have to do everything through Zoom meetings, then damn it, so do the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

And while I'd imagine these coaches and front office personnel would make sure they have their own setup with everything ready to go on Thursday, when you've got young children who want to play on their iPads, there's only so much you can do. What's going to happen if a storm knocks out the power in a general manager's house? This idea seems incredibly ill-conceived and that's exactly why I'm looking forward to it.