Live EventThe Unnamed Show With Dave Portnoy, Kirk Minihane, Ryan Whitney - Episode 35Watch Now
Stella Blue Coffee Golden Mug Giveaway | Enter to Win One of 10 PS5s LEARN MORE

Movie Theaters May Slowly Begin To Open In July... Would You Go?

Hmmm...

Cinemark CEO Mark Zoradi on Wednesday predicted it will take up to four months for shuttered cinema screens to fully reopen as the COVID-19 crisis recedes, likely on July 1.

"A return to normalcy may span multiple months driven by staggered theater openings due to government limits, reduced operating hours, lingering social distancing and a ramp-up of consumer comfort with public gatherings," Zoradi said on a morning call to update Wall Street analysts. Cinemark execs said the chain would take June to bring back employees and begin classic movie screenings later that month to get patrons back to the multiplex. 

And Cinemark in July expects to slowly ramp up to eventual normalcy with releases like Christopher Nolan's Tenet on July 17. "We're not completely certain, but we're planning on anywhere from one to three months to light up that engine again," Zoradi said. (via THR)

Let's call a spade a spade off the top, this is a pretty clear sign that movies such as 'TENET' or 'Wonder Woman 1984' have a zero percent chance of hitting on-demand platforms. Christopher Nolan will delay 'TENET' 10 years before he ever accepts the notion of having people watch it on their iPhones for the first time.

Overall, the strategy to return to normalcy for movie theaters isn't a bad one. Other chains such as AMC are on the brink of collapse...

…with rumors and speculation that AMC might be closed for good (all of which I hope aren't true). So it makes sense these theater chains have to attempt something and do it soon. They'll run into issues in cities such as New York, but a slow rollout makes sense in terms of a business plan, but will people actually show up?

Would you show up to the movie theaters as early as July?

For me, the answer is no, but that's only because I live in New York City. If I was elsewhere where the cases were lower? Well, I'd have to think about it. I live and breathe movies, especially some of these new releases, so the concept is intriguing. I've seen plenty of people hanging out in very small groups across the country, so going to a theater with strict guidelines and smaller capacities isn't totally insane to me. It's only a hypothetical at this point for me because there's no fucking we are getting any theater openings in Manhattan anytime soon.

Now, if they opened up theaters like this in New York, would I attend?

Not a chance. I wouldn't watch a movie at this location even if you told me there were no viruses in the world for the rest of eternity. This is the definition of filth. Put a blacklight over this theater, I dare you.

A normal theater? Well…

I just want to see 'TENET', man.