Barstool Confessions: I Think This Is The Beginning of the Apocalypse

Oh hey back door that won’t be usable till late Summer if ever

I wasn’t sure whether I should blog this Apocalypse theory or not. It kind of seems like a crazy nutbag thing to say right? But I’m honestly beginning to think we’re in the beginnings stages of the apocalypse. Like we don’t realize we’re all about to die in a few months and people are still making jokes about the snow and cold, but pretty soon it’s gonna turn deadly. It’s just like how all horror/apocalypse movies start. We are the poor idiots who don’t realize how dire the situation is yet.

There is just no other explanation to how we’re getting a foot of snow every couple days. I’ve never seen anything like it. If you have one storm a winter that yields a foot or more that’s normal. We’re getting them every single week. It just never stops snowing. It’s bananas. You think it’s going to stop but it doesn’t. Spring and summer aren’t coming. God was finally like enough is enough. No city can win everything for 15 years straight. No city deserves to have 13 parades in 15 years or whatever it is. I’m just going to snow them to death. I think that’s what’s happening. Yeah it’s crazy, but no more crazier than how much snow is on the ground right now. Pretty soon people are going to start dying and then we’re going to realize this is the apocalypse for real. And guess what? I wouldn’t change a thing. If all the rings and parades and tshirts were the price we had to pay for getting snowed to death I can live with it.