8 Things I Miss About Indiana Right Now

Well, it's finally the weekend! I'm getting ready for the same routine that I've been doing for the past month. Eat, PS4, and breathe. Preparing for this weekend made me think about all of the small things I loved doing and seeing back home in good old Indiana. I haven't been home since New Years and it flat out stinks being away this long. Here are 8 things I really miss about living in the 317.

1. Grass

I could really go for the feeling of dipping my feet into some of that right now. Working in New York, all I walk on is cement and dried up puke. Living in my New Jersey apartment, I'm just walking barefoot on my hardwood floor and occasionally stepping on some crunched up Oreo cereal. The closest thing I have to grass right now is my easter basket that's filled with those green paper strings. There's a small patch of grass a few blocks away from me, but it's not midwestern, fresh cut grass. It's also filled with dog shit because it's next to a mini dog park. If I really wanted some grass, I could walk over to my roommate's and ask, but he's usually busy blasting some porn,

2. Steak 'n Shake

Good lord do I miss Steak 'n Shake. I'll debate anyone by saying this is the greatest fast food chain in the world. It's a much cheaper, and better version of Shake Shack. The prices are a steal, the burgers are amazing, and the best part? The dining service is usually trash so considering the event we're going through, you're forced to hit the drive thru and save a buck or two on tipping (although you should tip your food deliverer). I'm actually more surprised they're still surviving after having to shut down many locations last year. This will for sure be the first place I'm hitting up when I'm back in town.

3. Driving 

I miss my 2005 Chevy Equinox, or as I call it, the BBC (Big Black Car). I'm at the point where I have dreams of driving it down the road, going 35 MPH and bumping some Jack Harlow or Drake on my partially blown out speakers with just the front windows down. Let me say, you're insane if you lower your back windows! I used to do that as a kid when my Mom drove me and she hated it. As soon as I started driving my friends in the back seat, I quickly realized how much that shit hurts your ears. One of my doctor's told my parents as soon as I was born, I was going to be brain dead and not be able to drive a car, finish school, or do any normal stuff. Well, jokes on you doctor, because I've only bumped my BBC into my garage wall once, and finished college as an Online General Studies major. Actually nevermind, he was kinda right.

4. Swishing a 3

This one hurts the most. It probably hurts you from looking at my ugly jumpshot, but a swish is a swish baby! I feel like a retired NBA player watching my old highlights. You could say I'm still stroking it, but I haven't shot a ball since December! I used to take Jack Mac's Fordham ID and hoop at their recreational gym last year. I don't usually hoop in NYC since it's $10 an hour to play inside. I also hate playing outside because I'm scared of tripping and scraping my knee on the cement. I'd rather play on some grass. Damn I miss grass. But luckily for me, I don't have to practice as much to stay wet since I'm BENT. 

5. Making Out With Chicks

It appears I can only smooch on girls when I'm back home. Lisa Ann gave me a kiss not too long ago at HQ, but we're just homies. I haven't made out with a girl since New Years and it sucks. No other way to explain it. 

6. Buying A Gallon Of Milk For The Low

A gallon of milk in NY is like $4! It's about $2.40 in Indiana! Shit, when I worked at a grocery store in High School, we got an employee discount on milk and would pay like $1.70 for a gallon! Funny story about the grocery store I worked at. I worked with a guy also named Austin and he had autism. My other coworkers would play this game where if we were bagging some groceries together, someone would say, "Hey Austin." and we would both look up and they would go, "No, the other one!" Then the customers would laugh too because they also thought we were both autistic.

7. My Old Xbox Games

You want a buffet of nostalgia? I got the Xbox and 360 in my bedroom and have wet dreams thinking about the games chilling in my drawers. NCAA Football 14, NCAA Basketball 10, NFL Street 2, Desert Storm, NFL 2K5, Star Wars Battlefront, lordy. I'm one Gulag loss closer to deleting Call of Duty off my PS4 and tossing it out of my window! What ever happened to video games being amazing? All companies care about are making an extra $10 on packs and add ons. Man, I miss these classics.

8. My Barber

Besides my family and friends, I can't wait to see my barber! Whether it's a month or 4 months from now, it's going to the cleantest fade in the history of mankind. My man William cuts up some Colts and Pacers, and even retired athletes such as Andrew Luck. I'll never forget how we met. I was in town for a wedding last summer and damn near every haircut place near me was booked. It made sense since it was a Saturday. My last resort was a saloon and this lady just disrespected me to say the least.

I know… that zit on my nose is terrible, isn't it? The worst part about this haircut was I actually intended the wedding with this. The next day, I looked up barbers around Indy, came across William, and he turned me into a masterpiece!

God, I miss that guy. And I'm not talking about Rone. But I do miss Rone a lot too. 

Not included, but I will miss the Indy 500. That is probably the biggest blow to the culture of Indiana right now. The sound of the cars zooming, the packed crowds, and the most outrageous humans you will ever see truly makes it the greatest spectacle in racing.

You can really do any of the things I listed just about anywhere in the country, but doing these in Indiana just hits different. Don't go too crazy this weekend and stay strong. Also, feel free to makeout with your partner for me too. Would mean a lot to me.