All Dolly Parton Wants For Her 75th Birthday Is To Have Her Giant Tits On The Cover Of Playboy

Dolly Parton turned 74 this year. And she's not letting her age stop her from planning her Playboy return.

Parton graced the magazine's cover in 1978 when she was 32. She wants return -- for her 75th birthday.

"I don't plan to retire. I just turned 74 and I plan to be on the cover of Playboy magazine again," Parton told 60 Minutes Australia over the weekend. "See, I did Playboy magazine years ago and I thought it'd be such a hoot if they'll go for it — I don't know if they will — if I could be on the cover again when I'm 75."

If Dolly wants the cover of Playboy then she should get it. I wasn't even sure if Playboy Magazine was a thing anymore. I feel like it died with Hef. The internet has killed Playboy Magazine. Once a prized possesion to be tucked under your mattress or in the drop ceiling to hide from your mom now may not exist. The best way to get some buzz is to give the woman who invented being blonde with massive tits a lifetime achievement award. Give her the cover because it's not even technically porn anymore

As WhiteSoxDave said last week, it's not porn unless there is "insertion" which...gross turn of phrase by WSD, but the point is true. Some tasteful clevage on the cover isn't a scandal, it's a modern marvel. 

Just out of curiosity I googled what Dolly looked like early in her career before years and plastic surgery took over and my GOODNESS

She holds up.