We're Getting a Clearer Picture of What Life on Mars Would Be Like... And It Still Sucks

NASA recently revealed the highest resolution landscape photo ever taken of the Red Planet by the Curiosity Rover. The rover took the picture back on Thanksgiving, and it’s pretty cool you can zoom in and look at the endless red rocks, and dirt, and grey skies as far as the eye can see...

Not surprisingly, other articles also came out this week talking about how even though Mars is supposedly “beautiful”, hopeful martians shouldn't get too excited because your blood would literally fizz like a soda in the CO2 rich martian atmosphere that's always well below freezing. You'd need a spacesuit anytime you want to go outside; and it’s likely that the first humans on Mars will need to spend months to years inside their ship on the surface, just hoping nothing breaks in the constant dust storms while they wait for more colonizers to arrive and help build bigger structures.

And maybe one day when you do get a house on Mars, it might be made of mushrooms. Not the kind that can get you high, unfortunately, but the kind with roofs of ice that melt to feed walls of fungus that can grow and self-repair, and will block the extra Martian radiation... thing is you've gotta feed it all the human shit in the house to keep it growing so you'll literally be living in your own shit.

Finally, scientist for TV, Bill Nye thinks earth life must have started on Mars because chemical compounds called “thiophenes” have been found in the Martian dust by the Curiosity Rover, and he's calling on NASA to investigate by brining back rock samples from Mars as soon as they can. Nye said “I’ve thought deeply about the idea. Mars is smaller than the Earth. It cooled off faster than the earth. It had an ocean and an atmosphere about a billion years before the Earth… So, it’s reasonable that life started on Mars first.” OK Bill, whatever you say, have fun with the dust; while you're at it, why don't you go live in a frozen ice desert inside a house made of human shit, digging in the dirt for thiophenes all day if you want them so bad?

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