Princeton Students Furious About Marshawn Lynch As Their "Class Day" Speaker Because Of His "I'm Just Here So I Won't Get Fined" Press Conference

SFGATE — Former Cal, Seattle Seahawks and Oakland Raiders running back Marshawn Lynch will speak at Princeton University's senior "Class Day" in June, and a group of students wrote an op-ed in the student publication bemoaning the choice.

Princeton's Class Day occurs the day before commencement, so Lynch is not their commencement speaker. The announcement that Beast Mode would be speaking to the senior class was released Tuesday, and a group of seniors wrote an open letter to the Class Day co-chairs that was published in The Daily Princetonian just two days later.

Imagine hearing Marshawn Lynch is coming — willingly! — to speak to you, and being upset about it?  I mean how often do the goobers and boomers in college administrations butcher something like this? How many times do they pick a speaker nobody on Earth cares about, a band that sucks, etc etc? 99.9% of the time? Against all odds, Princeton nailed it, getting an NFL superstar, social activist, community hero, and all around cool and interesting and funny dude. And the college kids did exactly what they think college kids in 2020 are required to do: complain.

We wish to express our thoughts on the choice of the Class Day speaker for 2020 and propose improvements that could be made to the speaker selection process. As seniors, we had been looking forward to the speaker announcement for months. Many of us were disappointed when we saw that this year’s speaker was to be Marshawn Lynch.

The Princeton whiny babies claim they're upset simply because the selection process is "too opaque." Nobody asked their opinion or let them pick the speaker.  Basically administrators did their job. But it's my understanding that literally nothing was different in this year's selection process than any of the past years. So why the uproar for Marshawn? What do these kids have against Beast Mode? 

"On receiving the email about the speaker announcement, members of the senior class who were not aware of Lynch tried to learn more about his identity and relevance to our Class Day ceremony," the students wrote. "Among articles that praised his NFL career and philanthropic contributions, we came across articles discussing Lynch’s reticence with the media and his terse responses at press conferences. In 2013 and 2014, for example, Lynch was fined $50,000 and $100,000 for refusing to speak to the media. During the 2015 Superbowl Media Day, Lynch famously responded to multiple questions with variants of 'I’m just here so I won’t get fined.' With no other frame of reference, such reports caused confusion over the set of criteria that led to his nomination."

There are very few things that we can all agree on, but up to this point I was absolutely sure that 100% of the population watched this video and laughed. Apparently I was wrong. Apparently some people got big mad. Those people are in the Princeton graduating class.

Hope Marshawn stays home with a gigantic bag of weed and lets these Princeton goobers get like the VP of a software company to speak to them.