FCC Says That 1300 People Were Ashamed Of Their Boners During The Super Bowl Halftime Show

(CNN)--Some of the complaints, which were sent to CNN by FCC officials and first obtained by WFAA, came from parents who felt their children were exposed to a "porno show." Other adults thought the show encouraged sex trafficking.

And some people were upset no public warnings were given before the show, which one viewer said was less a musical act than an "X-rated strip club performance."

Here are just a few of the complaints:

Not appropriate for children

There is NOTHING more embarassing than an uncontrolled, ill-timed, boner. Nothing. I remember being in high school and wearing wind-breaker pants in class, seeing a crush in class, getting an unwanted boner, and PRAYING that it goes away before the bell rings for the end of class. Luckily as time goes on these situations happen less and less. You never expect to get a boner in public anymore. You think those days are gone. Then all of a sudden, you're enjoying a football game, eating some dip, having a couple great tasting less filling Miller Lites and BAM J. Lo and Shakira come on the screen. You're instantly transported back to 2006 when Shakira and J.Lo were giving you boners and here you are again. Bone city, right in the middle of the Super Bowl party. 

You're boned up. You're embarrassed. You feel shame and violated. But you're an adult now. Who can you call for help? The only answer is the government. And 1300 people did just that. Full mast at halftime and telling the FCC that you got a boner thanks to an x-rated strip show while you're just trying to watch the Super Bowl. Smh. 

I am here to tell you...it's not your fault. Everyone gets boners sometimes. And just because you were one of the 1300 people who called the FCC that doesn't mean you were in the minority when it came to boners. They say if one person calls it means 10000 people are actually feeling that way. Feeling horny. And if you did get publicly horny during the Super Bowl, that's okay too. It was hot. Lordy.