New Study Shows That It's A Great Time To Be A Fat Guy
(source)--A recently published research article from Cornell University found that “weight among men is positively associated with perceived persuasiveness.” In other words, overweight men in a workplace are thought to be more persuasive than average-sized men, the study finds. Given the negative stigma around being overweight, this finding is surprising.
Assessing physical characteristics that make a superior leader is an enduring area of study among academics such as Malcolm Gladwell, who concluded in his book Blink that tall men are significantly overrepresented among Fortune 500 CEOs. Persuasiveness is widely considered another crucial factor in leadership ability, this news can be broadly interpreted as welcome news for men of higher weight.
“While the ‘big man’ leadership concept is based on studies of pre-industrial societies where weight embodied status, our findings suggest an evolved bias to favor moderately big men–with respect to perceived persuasiveness–even in environments where there is no reason to interpret over-consumption of food and conservation of energy as a signal of wealth.”
What a time to be alive! We are back in the era of Henry VIII. Didn't get that job? Have a sandwich. Negotiating a raise? Better quit your gym. Trying to get a girl's attention? Dick pics are out, show her your gut. Sup
According to SCIENCE, the most persuasive thing in the world is a big fat gut. It's a sign of power, knowledge, and money. You see a big gut walk in the room and you know that guy has been working. He's been thinking. He hasn't been wasting time at the gym. No time for the gym when you're at the office. You can trust a fat man to get the job done. He's conditioned for the 2020 sedintary environment. 20 hours in a chair looking at a screen? That's called studying. That's called a saturday in the fall. That's where winners are made and people instinctively know that. Over the weekend at the pond hockey tournament in New Hampshire, that stick figure All Business Pete called me chubby right in front of Erika Nardini. Best thing he ever did for me. Can't wait to strut(waddle) into my next contract negotiation with Nardini after another 9 months of blogging and podding. There's no telling how persuasive I will be in another year. Maybe another 30 pounds worth of persuation. At the end of the day I'd rather be rich than hot because once you're rich you are hot. Keep that in mind before you think about doing things like taking stairs or lifting anything repeatedly that weighs more than 12oz.
PS: The same article said that this only applies to men. Sorry, ladies. I didn't do the study. The study says that you're not more persuasive when fat. The opposite actually. You're expected to be funny if you're overweight as a female. Again, that's not what I am saying. That is what Cornell University reported.